Look Back to Move Forward

This week is finals week at my university. Because we operate on quarters rather than semesters, everything moves quickly. That being said, one of my final assignments was to film a reflection video about what I learned about myself and about design this quarter. That assignment ended up prompting a completely different kind of reflection, a much deeper one. It led me to reflect not just on the past few months, but on the past 21 years of my life.

Self-reflection is a tool I think everyone should use more often. Whether it is reflecting on things you have done, the things you have created, the people you surround yourself with, or even the way you are living your life, it gives you perspective. Where I think many of us go wrong is that we only turn to reflection when something feels wrong or when we think things need to change. We reflect on challenges, mistakes, and the obstacles we have overcome, but not always on the things we have created or accomplished.

I know that when I take a moment to reflect on myself or read my old journals, I tend to get caught up in what needs to change: how I could be better, what I did not accomplish, or what I should have done differently. But over the past few days, I have been looking through old memories, and that is when I noticed a shift in the way I was reflecting on my life. Instead of focusing on what I did not do, I started remembering what I did do: the amazing people I met, the things I created, and the projects I worked on. It shifted my perspective away from the exhaustion I felt during those times and from the moments when I wished I had made healthier choices sooner.

From this reflection, I pinpointed two huge lessons that I will be carrying into the next chapter of my life.

Lesson One: Quality Over Quantity

This lesson applies to nearly every aspect of life, including friends, work, art, and school, but for me it has been most meaningful in terms of relationships. I have never really been part of a long-term friend group. Briefly, when I started college in 2023, I had a huge group of friends who seemed inseparable. At first, it was exciting. I had so many friends, endless things to do, and I was invited to almost every event on campus. But with such a large group came many different personalities, and I quickly realized that trying to please everyone was exhausting. When I wanted to make decisions that were different from the group or spend time on my own, I was sometimes shunned, bullied, or even threatened. That experience showed me the danger of valuing quantity over quality in friendships and led to one of the darkest points in my life.

I may only have a few close friends now, but the honesty, trust, and support in those relationships mean far more to me than being surrounded by a large group ever did. Because of the quality of those friendships, I appreciate them deeply and value the people who choose to show up for me just as much as I show up for them.

Lesson Two: Be Yourself

The second lesson is simpler, but just as important: be okay with being yourself. I often steered away from my passions or my style because I wanted to fit in or be cool. I avoided art and certain forms of expression because I was scared to stand out. But as I wrote in my “Did AI Kill the Cool Girl?” post, the coolest thing you can do is be yourself, authentically and unapologetically. Looking back, reflecting on those moments could feel negative, but it also made me realize that if I had stayed true to my values, my style, and my passions, I could have avoided a lot of heartache. So my advice to myself, and to anyone reading this, is to be yourself. Do not wear blue just because it is trending. Wear pink because it is a piece you love. Do not listen to a popular artist just because they are number one. Listen to the music that moves you, that sparks creativity.

Do not be afraid to take unconventional paths in life. Try new schools, travel, dance in the streets, talk to everyone, and do it all as the most authentic version of yourself.

Okay, maybe I got a little too inspirational there, but that is the thing about reflection. It reminds you not just of the challenges you faced, but of the pride you can take in what you have learned and accomplished, all on your own and in your own way.

Reflection does not always have to be about fixing something. Sometimes it is simply about recognizing how far you have come.